On the Verge of Sounding Suicidal

Sometimes I wonder if it’s worth living anymore.

If you ask me why am I still living, I’d say that if I committed suicide, I’d really upset my mum.

I’m not even sure why do I even feel that way. I gotta say that my lack of a dream in life does answer for my lack of motivation at all.

Either that or I’m just…

a) clinically depressed
b) bipolar
c) loony

But I suppose that c can be scratched out since crazy people never admit to being crazy. So that leaves me with a and b.

I remember chuckling to myself while walking home from Unisity just now. At the 1st sensation of boredom, I think of killing myself rather than think of something else to do. Funny.

Really… I look in this world… and I really don’t see any other reason we need to keep struggling to achieve anything ‘cause in the end, it doesn’t matter.

God I sound like such an emo bitch but seriously, I feel fine. It’s a small pang of sadness at the bottom of my chest yet I feel completely fine.

Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me.

I seriously need help.

Or a knife to the wrists. We’ll see which comes 1st.

Peace.

P.S: It’s actually pretty scary… when you think about what’s going to happen next after u slice your wrists open. Blood gushes out and then you black out in a pool of your own blood and you never wake up. I wonder what happens after that. It scares me. I suppose that fear is enough to stop me.