Crude Comparisons

Just had a pretty nice crude analogy running in my head this morning. I have to confess that I get really fucking pissed off at any mention of the Monash Ball/Prom ‘cause of the fact that the idiot upstairs screwed with me.

I had the chance to bring 2 uber hot chicks to that event and even become one of the best wingman in the history of wingmen. I had plans. Flowers, chocolates, the act, the works, motherfucker! Hell, I bought the god damned slacks and ties. Optimistically speaking, I’m lucky I didn’t pay for my ticket yet. 80 bucks. Meh.

If that idiot upstairs had me knocked by a car that resulted in me in traction for say, a month or two, sure, why not? But no, he had to bloody fucking kill a relative to screw around with. Okay, I sound pretty self-centered right now but fuck man, I think a guy who went through shit like this deserves some me time. With this death, he’s screwed through some of my main agendas and plans in soft spots that might just kill it off.

Freaking hell, he literally threw a corpse at me just to stop me from having fun. And don’t fucking think I’m ranting here, I’m being abso-fucking-lutely serious. Shit, just freaking realized how insane I sound. But fuck it man, its better on paper, or cyberspace rather than in real life where I can break things. Some people know what I’m talking about.

Feeling quite fucking pissed right now. I better get something good in return. Yes, I know I should be grateful my brother is fine. I know I should be grateful I’m not in a casket right but fuck that shit, I’m here, he’s here, we survived, I think a celebration or at least some reparations are in order. Fuck this shit.

Urgh, words fail me.

It also made me realize (and a whole lot more people, then and now) that life is short. So I want to officially proclaim certain things I want done right if I were to meet my untimely demise. Firstly, no Taoist monks/ceremonial chaps/Buddhist monks OR nuns. Wait, that would be pretty boring. Ah crap. Alright fine, Buddhist monks are fine. Secondly, I don’t want the same droning prayer/chants rolling over and over the whole day and night. I want some real music man. I want the usual shit on my playlist blaring next to my dead ass at least ¾ of the time the sun is out. I want 1/3 of my money donated to charity and 5/7 of what’s left to my immediate family and whatever’s left to whatever children/nephews/nieces I have. I want a non-Mat Rocker band to play Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door when my coffin’s being loaded into the hearse with everyone singing along. During the journey, I wouldn’t mind Nobuo Eumatsu’s (Did I spell that right?) “Main Theme of FFVII” playing. That would be so fucking epic. As my coffin gets buried or cremated, I want something nice to be played… Hmmm… what would be perfect? I swear if any crappy music was played, I would get up from my coffin and bitch-slap each and everyone in attendance. I think the best choice would still be Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door. Time of Dying wouldn’t be too bad either but a bit too heavy for such an occasion. Either way.

Phew. I think I’m done. I’m heading back to Sunway tomorrow and hopefully things will pan out. Still a bit pissed but I think if no idiots start coming in my face, I’ll be fine.

Peace out y’all.