Nuh-uh, this ain’t over yet. Still got 1 more paper left and this is the one with the cock the size of a lamp post and the libido of a bitch in heat. It’s gonna be torture, it’s gonna be slow and it sure as hell gonna be painful.
You could say I’m preparing a strategy to keep my pants on and perhaps be the one that’s behind.
Sexual innuendos aside, and delve with me once more into the insane once again. Here’s some backstory. One day one of my friends got an earful, or was talking about getting an earful regarding something about “fooling around with girls”. One way or another, it led back to religion. Nothing too deep, just skimming the waves.
Alright, this whole thing spawned various threads in my head. Some I will not disclose for I will probably go through what Christ went through once certain people have read it. I was thinking about the convenience that religion gave when it come to uh, relations between the opposite sex. It made followers comfortable and secure knowing that their other was happy and bound by their teachings. When the feeling of this comfort and security is broken, they seriously can’t handle it and it just all goes to hell ‘cause they can’t handle it. Whatever it is, I came to the conclusion that, “Rules are there for a reason. It keeps the followers happy”.
And of course, it got me thinking. I kinda remembered that when I was younger (Geez, I make it sound like I’m 70+) I always said that I would live a free life. No worries and no responsibilities ‘cept to myself. A life without rules. Scarily enough, I wished for another life. The polar opposite, for a split second. One that was bound by rules and orders. One where I can sleep peacefully at night, knowing that my life will be peaceful, calm and happy if I do as it says.
Even now, as I am typing this, about to fall asleep on my fucked up keyboard, I still do wonder which life I wanted. A life where securities are offered at the expense of your soul and perhaps, in the extreme, your identity OR a life that has no boundaries and rules that are only dictated by your will, where you play the devil and angel to yourself.
I tried putting myself in the shoes of a person who’s religious and follows the book to a dot. What if one day, that security that you have, is shattered? Due to the fact that you’ve placed so much faith into the “fact” that you will be safe, the impact, in theory, should be much more. I’m just speculating. This isn’t exactly what I’d be pretty worried about anyways.
My main dilemma is the life. The one with or without the rules. The scary part is the fact that I wanted the other one that I despised. Is it because that I’m going through a natural progression of my psyche? Is it inevitable? Biggest question that strikes me at this moment is:
Can I do what I want? When I want? Where I want? How I want?
Fuck. I think I lost myself back there a few paragraphs. Somehow I feel I haven’t done my thoughts justice. Remember, the BEST place to do pondering regarding the big picture is on The Throne. We all have sat on it and it’s the best place to think and perhaps to read the newspapers.
XD
4 MORE DAYS
Phew. Don’t send me to the psych ward yet. I ain’t done in this world. Peace out y’all!
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