SPOILERS AHEAD!!!
Damn, that movie was more than just a waste of time, it was horrible in every aspect, it creeped the fuck out of me, it was messy and it had the cheesiest soundtrack that I can remember.
To relieve you of your curiosity towards the movie’s plot, I will give you enough. First of all, Lindsay Lohan goes back to basics and redoes her twin act! She plays exotic dancer (and possibly hooker) Dakota Moss and also good girl Audrey Fleming. They are twins separated at birth and they have a rare paranormal condition called stigmata. Or something like that. It basically means that they can somehow peer into each other’s lives if they concentrate hard enough and share the same pain if one endures it.
Basically the thing here is that Audrey is kidnapped by some psychopath who is actually her piano teacher. This guy is sick and so is the director. They had bleeped out every swear word save for 2 “fucks”. Anyways, this guy had kidnapped beautiful girls, roughly late teens or early 20s and then he amputates them. However, he can’t finish the job and he always leaves them for dead some where. The amputation part is nothing short of sick and twisted and it’s not in the way that we get impressed at. They didn’t censor ANY of that sick shit.
Anyways, Audrey gets kidnapped by this dude, gets her hand clamped with a huge block of dried ice, gets frostbite, and then he amputates her without anesthetic and she’s wide awake and fully aware of what’s happening. Meanwhile, Dakota’s limbs start falling out as well. The scenes are all jumbled up like while editing the sequence of the scenes, they used a bingo machine to determine which scene comes next. A task force is set up for the search of the psycho and Audrey and then some woman discovers Dakota near Audrey’s hometown so she gets transported there. She gets mistaken as Audrey and the cops and her parents think she has post-traumatic stress.
Fuck, this story is fucked up. I’ll just spare you guys and skip to the ending. Dakota finds Audrey and they both lie together in a graveyard with identical missing limbs. Oh, they lose their right hand and right leg. Not the whole leg, just whatever is below the knee. Oh, and Dakota gets robotic prosthetics. Quite crucial in killing that psycho piano teacher. Oh, and the freakiest shit I’ve seen is when Dakota has sex with Audrey’s boyfriend. Damn man… that’s some nasty ass shit.
Ol’ Spiky’s Rating – 1/5 – Just because Lindsay Lohan was stripping in the beginning.
Mother of god... I’ve seen bad post-summer movies but this is the worst one to date. Don’t bother downloading, don’t bother wondering, just fuck that shit and wait for Disaster Movie, which should be coming before anything like Quarantine, Max Payne and Tropic Thunder. Peace out y’all!
To relieve you of your curiosity towards the movie’s plot, I will give you enough. First of all, Lindsay Lohan goes back to basics and redoes her twin act! She plays exotic dancer (and possibly hooker) Dakota Moss and also good girl Audrey Fleming. They are twins separated at birth and they have a rare paranormal condition called stigmata. Or something like that. It basically means that they can somehow peer into each other’s lives if they concentrate hard enough and share the same pain if one endures it.
Basically the thing here is that Audrey is kidnapped by some psychopath who is actually her piano teacher. This guy is sick and so is the director. They had bleeped out every swear word save for 2 “fucks”. Anyways, this guy had kidnapped beautiful girls, roughly late teens or early 20s and then he amputates them. However, he can’t finish the job and he always leaves them for dead some where. The amputation part is nothing short of sick and twisted and it’s not in the way that we get impressed at. They didn’t censor ANY of that sick shit.
Anyways, Audrey gets kidnapped by this dude, gets her hand clamped with a huge block of dried ice, gets frostbite, and then he amputates her without anesthetic and she’s wide awake and fully aware of what’s happening. Meanwhile, Dakota’s limbs start falling out as well. The scenes are all jumbled up like while editing the sequence of the scenes, they used a bingo machine to determine which scene comes next. A task force is set up for the search of the psycho and Audrey and then some woman discovers Dakota near Audrey’s hometown so she gets transported there. She gets mistaken as Audrey and the cops and her parents think she has post-traumatic stress.
Fuck, this story is fucked up. I’ll just spare you guys and skip to the ending. Dakota finds Audrey and they both lie together in a graveyard with identical missing limbs. Oh, they lose their right hand and right leg. Not the whole leg, just whatever is below the knee. Oh, and Dakota gets robotic prosthetics. Quite crucial in killing that psycho piano teacher. Oh, and the freakiest shit I’ve seen is when Dakota has sex with Audrey’s boyfriend. Damn man… that’s some nasty ass shit.
Ol’ Spiky’s Rating – 1/5 – Just because Lindsay Lohan was stripping in the beginning.
Mother of god... I’ve seen bad post-summer movies but this is the worst one to date. Don’t bother downloading, don’t bother wondering, just fuck that shit and wait for Disaster Movie, which should be coming before anything like Quarantine, Max Payne and Tropic Thunder. Peace out y’all!
2 comments:
lol! the name of the movie itself should have warned you it was gonna be crap!hahaha and lindsay lohan??hahaha
lol... We were bored. Nuff' said. Hey, she was a stripper. Another nuff' said.
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