Thursday, October 16, 2008

Max Payne



The man with nothing to lose

“They were all dead. The final gunshot was an exclamation point to everything that had led to this point. I released my finger from the trigger and then it was all over” – Max Payne

They seriously should’ve re-enacted famous scenes from the game like this one, man. The snow whipping around the busted up rooftop and Max Payne just standing there with that silly constipated smile of his.

Instead they fucked up the story. You can count in 3 figures the amount of bullets dispensed in the movie, most being from a SWAT-like team spraying MP5s on Max Payne. A movie adaptation for Max Payne should have as much shooting as Wanted or hell, Shoot ‘Em Up! The only shooting that happens is in the last quarter of the movie.

What the fuck were these people thinking?! The body count in the game racks up to about 400 dead! There were hardly 50 guys dead in this movie! Damn, man… They messed up big time on this movie and I have no idea where to begin. They left out the whole mob war between Angelo Punchinello and Vladimir, the bank robbery at Roscoe Street Station where everything started, the creepy cult part where Lupino is and what the fuck was with the whole black angels thing, man?! Where're the Finitos? Where's Vinnie?! All those guys that I shot so much back in the day... *sigh*

Ol’ Spiky’s Rating – 1.5/5 – I’m just biased ‘cause I loved that game, man.

They took everything that made the game great away, man. Fuck these bastards. Only thing that I could deal with was the muttering part that Max does best. Mark Wahlberg pulled that one off nicely. Other than that, nothing. Peace out y’all.

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