Post Summer Flicks

Well, the last best one has already passed us all and I can’t freakin’ believe that some people have not watched Dark Knight yet. Yes, wipe that incredulous look off your face. There are such people. I pity them. Anyways, movies are movies and they all stand a fair chance at being entertaining and groundbreaking. Unfortunately, no such luck for these two movies

Chink In Bandages

A yellow mummy... What next, a white pontianak?

I thought mummies were reserved for the Egyptian undead only. The other undead guys should be just called zombies. I thought that was the rule. Ah well. Anyways, this movie is horrible. Casting was way off. Chinese girl was cute, probably the only thing that kept the movie entertaining. Heh heh heh…

Ol’ Spiky’s Rating: 1/5 – Effects, been there, done that. Chinese mummy? Right.

Midnight Cock Meat Sandwich Train

In case you were wondering, it's Vinnie Jones. You can't take him seriously after Eurotrip.

I have not seen the trailer. I have not pondered at the poster. I just know Clive Barker’s name was on it, and after what I saw on Undying, I thought this would be tight. But damn it was full of shit. First thing you would notice is that the movie has not been censored like regular gore flicks. You’ll see decapitations in full Technicolor and free-flowing blood. You will see hands wandering to naughty places and it doesn’t happen in the corner of the screen. The most disturbing scene in the movie’s probably the part when the guy cries when his fiancé is stripping for him. And I don’t mean the “THIS IS IT!” kind of crying. It’s just fucked up.

Ol’ Spiky’s Rating: 1/5 – Just because they didn’t censor the good parts.

Clone Wars and The Day The World Stood Still is on it’s way and hopefully they will deliver. Zohan is another idiotic Sandler movie so I’ll probably download it. Peace out y’all.